Friday, April 8, 2011

What's In A Thought?

Have you ever had those moments where you are having a discussion about something and then a thought pops into your head that is linked to the discussion, but indirectly? 

For example: How can, in the middle of an Advanced Marriage and Family relations class discussion about divorce, adoption, homosexual couples, and cohabitation, can you draw the conclusion that focusing on the negative brings more negative? I will explain! (I was quite excited to have this moment during class and had to share!)

In case you didn't know, I LOVE my major! 
I love studying about families, relationships, child development, etc.
LOVE every part of it!
However, one thing that is interesting/kind of saddening to me is how many twisted and warped views there are about families and relationships!
Every time we have discussions directly about relationships or family in class, I become that much more grateful for the Gospel and my knowledge of truth!

Anyway, during class, we focused a lot on cohabitation (living together before marriage)
As people shared their thoughts and views on this, a common theme that kept coming up was the idea that cohabitation occurs as a result of fear of commitment or fear of divorce. 
Both of these fears derive from the fact that a lot of people are getting divorced, which makes sense as the divorce rate is about 50% right now. 
However, as they were talking about this I thought back to something one of my professors said last semester. 
He was lecturing on divorce and started the lecture by saying: "There is a 50% divorce rate, but you have to remember that 50% of marriages are still successful and staying together!"

That thought kind of took my mind on a trip as I related it to what people were saying!
Nearly every one who spoke in class alluded to the fact that, because of the divorce rate, individuals are succumbing to inappropriate behaviors (of course, no one called them inappropriate behaviors), such as cohabitation  or avoiding marriage altogether (Yes, avoiding marriage is inappropriate. Just check out the most recent General Conference Talks!) 

Thinking about this caused me to ask myself: 
What if people focused on the positive instead?

What if people focused on the 50% of marriages that last, instead of fail, like my professor suggested? Would that cause any sort of change in trends or behavior? Of course, it's not an easy thing to do, but what difference would it make?

I also started to think of this on a more personal level. What if every day in my life, I choose to focus on the positive instead? What difference would that make? 
Don't get me wrong, the negative is always there, as there is opposition in all things. 
I think once we accept that fact, and realize that yes, opposition is always there, it is easier to be positive!
It allows us to recognize the negative aspects of life, and instead of dwelling on them, how awesome would it be if we thought of the positive counterpart that comes?
Is it hard? Yes!
Is it impossible? NO! It just takes effort!

I am thankful for that "moment" I had during class!
I love those moments when you can pull something that is only indirectly related out of a conversation!
Sometimes, I am really thankful for class discussions! 
They really can teach me a lot! 

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