Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Overcoming the Wall....?(I'm really not sure what to title this one)

Have you ever had that feeling where you felt like you needed to do something, but every time you tried to do it something would always get in the way and hold you back from doing it? Or from the beginning you just felt like you couldn't do it? That's kind of the state I am in right now. Every day almost, I keep getting this feeling that I need to do something, but every time I try to do it, it never lasts for very long and something gets in the way of it. So then I get the feeling again and try again in a new way, but it is almost like this pattern of failure. It is kind of ironic because in Sunday School on Sunday, the teacher gave an example of how sometimes we are trying to so something, but there is a wall in the way so we run into it. Not only do we run into once, but over and over again, until we finally figure out the way around the wall and we are able to progress on our way. I have been thinking about that a lot these past few days in regards to the situation I am in and kind of had one of those "ah ha" moments, and realized the lesson was just for me and what I needed to hear! For some reason, I woke up in the middle of the night and that wall story was on my mind. Then, as I was getting ready this morning, I had my i-pod playing, as I often do, and a the song, Defying Gravity, from the musical, Wicked, came on. This is one of my all time favorite songs. It is just so fun to sing and I love the words, but never before have the lyrics suck in so deep as they did this morning. For those of you who don't know it, here are some of the lyrics that really hit me:

Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap! It's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity and you can't hold me down......I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but until I try I'll never know.......And if If I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free....

I have heard and sung this song a million and one times, but never before have I loved the lyrics more than I did this morning and all day. I guess having that "wall situation" on my mind for the past few days played a role in that. I felt like the song was telling me to "just do it." It gave me the umph to do what I know I need to do. It reminded me that I just need to trust what I feel is right and do it without feeling like I am limited or held down. And then when I do what I need to I can be free from this wall that is blocking my path! Okay, so that might so crazy and weird, but I get a lot of messages from music. A lot of songs teach AMAZING messages, and I love when I feel like the song is just for me and applies to situations in my life. Sometimes I feel like I receive the answers I need through the messages of songs. It is wonderful! Music is amazing!

Here is just a little scripture thought that has been on my mind as well. "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." (D&C 90:24). I love the promise of this scripture. It has been on my mind a lot lately with this whole "wall situation" as well. What a great source of strength the scriptures are!

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